you were once self confident. you always knew you had it in you to be someone great. somehow it all changed. stuck now in mediocrity. you often wondered where did it all go wrong? did the endless hours spent go to waste? how did a life that had showed such promise dimmed?

many nights i had spent thinking of you. many nights i came to the same conclusion: that you are better off now. many nights i wondered how things could have changed if everything was the way it was suppose to be.

feelings. they seem a sort of leash that holds you back from doing what you know you ought to do. somehow wishing seems to wound deeper.

disappointments. you can't seem to wave them away. buzzing overhead above you, as if mocking your efforts.

tears. a wasted effort and imaginary attempt to make things better.

You won’t forget how much you loved, because love is not something easily forgotten. You won’t forget how hurt you felt, or how betrayed, or how alone. You won’t forget your promise to not feel hurt and betrayed and alone again. You won’t forget goodbye.

you don't know that i had kept everything the same as it used to be because i needed the past to keep my present afloat.

i find myself here again. strangely enough i don't know where to begin every single time i'm here, realising that i had been staring at the screen for ages and yet seemingly unable to put a single letter on it. confused and drowned.

the gaping hole. that huge void that was left behind. feels like a blackhole of some sort, seeking to draw everything in its path to plug it but often consuming everything, leaving nothing not even the beautiful memories that were created for they were in the very end, marred beyond the point of recognition. skin hunger.

the dead belongs to the past. and i must attend to the future.

no big words. no movie quotes. just endless staring out into the sea. i do hope i meet a familiar face before i leave this time around.

when those two stories became one. our story had just begun.

anger will fire you up. but first you need to go get some sleep.

the tic only drives home the fact that time is running out for me.

and i hope you'll have your own happily ever after.

it came out sounding as if love was lost. i guess love is always lost. but i wished the week wasn't as quiet as the one that just passed...i could do with some laughter now :/